Alone Together

 It is so easy to get lost in my role as momma.  My life needs balance and I do a poor job of allocating my time and energy.

I needed to give to my marriage. So, I did one of the hardest things a momma can do, I left my kids for five days. FIVE DAYS

Hubs and I have never been on vacation alone. He was a dad long before I met him, so anything more than a night away included his son.

Some friends who are family bought a house in Florida on Marco Island. They said come and I knew we needed time together, so we went. For FIVE DAYS. Away from my children-the two people who are the reasons I live. For FIVE DAYS

It was awful and wonderful all at the same time.

Wonderful

Wonderful

Wonderful

Awful because my heart ached for these two.

It was so hard to leave, but in a way I was doing it for them, too. I want to have a happy, loving and supportive relationship with Hubs. I want our marriage to be an example of how relationships can and should be. I know one of the best things I can do for the girls is to love their dad.



But really, how could I not?

On Love

Love alone lightens every burden, and makes rough places smooth.
It bears every hardship as though it were nothing, and renders
all bitterness sweet and acceptable. ~Thomas Kempis

That is part of a common reading used during wedding ceremonies. Though the entire thing is beautiful, that part kind of strikes a cord with me.

Before I met Hubs, I never really believed I would find love. Probably that is a common fear for single twenty-somethings, but somehow it felt true and inevitable for me. I didn't think there was a man out there who could love me-you know, the real me-that I could love in return.

Then I met Hubs and my life changed. Really.

He accepts me for who I am and loves me even when I'm at my worst.

My dad hasn't been in the best of health for many years. He has ups and some pretty scary downs with his health. About 5 years ago he was hospitalized for about a month. He was in the ICU, he was intubated, we thought we would lose him.
He recovered-he's a tough bird.

Hubs was the one who helped me get through that time. He drove me to work and picked me up every day for two weeks. I didn't ask him to, he offered because he that's how he could help take care of me.

I still get an ache at the back of my throat when I think about that time. The extreme fear of losing my Dad and the strong love I feel for Hubs for helping me move through those days.

We've had a few more days like that in the last several months. I am so thankful that my dad is a fighter.

I have struggles just like everyone does. Sometimes I can't see past the fog of fear and my feet feel so heavy. Then Hubs appears and pulls me along, he holds my hand and somehow I find myself outside the fog.

Where did the time go?

I haven't been here in this space for quite a while. Partly because finding time is tough with two little ones and what I try to pass off as A Life.
But also, we've been dealing with some pretty trying stuff over the last few months and I didn't have it in me to write about them or write as if there was nothing going on.

But Spring makes me feel like anything is possible and I get to start anew!

Michigan has been treating us to an early dose of sun. We have been trying to soak up every minute before the clouds come again.

Man, those girls have gotten big. Lovie has a lot less junk in her truck, 'cause girl is done with diapers. Tootsie is way more determined than I would have predicted based on her easy-peasy attitude as a baby. Ummm, did I just say that like she isn't a baby anymore? She's not and I kind of hate it.

I am almost twitchy when I think about the garden. THE GARDEN!!  Lovie wants to go inside the garden gate every time we are in the back yard. Seeds have been selected, plans have been made. It is coming.

Right after I snapped this picture, Tootsie fell out of the play house window and got a face full of wet grass. I'm trying to be a more relaxed momma and let the girls explore and test their own abilities, but it's tough some times. Like when you watch your kid fall out of a play house window. Der.

Lovie is still obsessed with "my kissmas tree". She was a little confused when she saw it next to the fire pit. I didn't have the heart to tell her what Hubs has planned for it.